One Reason to Get Married

Now I am the first person to tell you that marriage is wonderful and has tons of perks. However, since it has gotten colder there is one benefit that stands out to me lately. My husband is among the world's best spider assassins. He could go pro. His stealth and accuracy are unmatched. This is what happens to spiders when I am home alone................yes, they get smashed with a shoe, I've learned over the years to use shoes with flat soles, don't use shoes with a lot of tread or the spider could escape between treads. I smash them and then leave them for my husband to dispose of and then wipe up the crime scene with a clorox wipe (probably on my list of 10 best inventions, can't live without clorox wipes). But, this is how it works when Nate is home. I am usually the one who spots the offending spider and I have a sure-fire warning signal for Nate, it is an urgent "Spider! Spider! Spider!" cry and I am sure to point it out for him (communication is not a problem in events such as these). Then with all the skill of a hit man, Nate is on the attack and eliminates the target and removes all evidence. I then say aloud that I hope all his (meaning the spider's) friends were watching and that if they're smart they'll leave now before we find them. When all is said and done I go back to pretending that spiders and bugs of all sorts don't exist. If there was an award for such feat, my husband would win for sure. So basically, if you hate killing spiders and such, there is an easy answer, just get married.